I'm finding myself constantly giving The Lord back control of the same things, over and over because they are issues and dreams dear to my heart. I was sitting in the beautiful Mozambican dirt during worship today and I was again giving Him the exact same things and repenting for holding them tightly without trusting Him. I clearly heard Him ask in such tenderness: "Why do you assume that I don't have a plan for this part of your life? I know you, your desires and the dreams of your heart so why do you assume I don't have a good plan for you?" I was immediately struck with my own insecurities and the absolute travesty of how I actually hadn't actually given Him the dreams of my heart.
How could I not believe that the plans The Lord has for my life is better than how I could choose for myself? How could I think that The Lord would call me to specific places but still believe I could pick and choose how the desires of my heart came to fruition?
In Psalm 37 David talks about trusting in The Lord and how The Lord truth orders the steps of those who follow Him.
"Trust in The Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself in also in The Lord, and He shall give you the desires of Your heart. Commit your way to The Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in The Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret-- it only causes harm."
"The steps of a good man are ordered of The Lord. And He delights in His way. Though he fall he shall not be utterly cast down; for The Lord upholds him with His hand."
When we rest in the active plan of The Lord, we are both held up by Him and ushered into the exact place we need to be. God gives us good gifts, He is our father who loves His children! He has GOOD and PERFECTLY TIMED plans for us!
When we completely trust Him we give over to Him our senses that distract us from following our own wills.